


Atsumu I love you too

by wHyDoItRy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Shipping Undertones, Suicide, dont read if you can’t handle it, honestly just me projecting onto Atsumu, suicide note, unedited, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27412084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wHyDoItRy/pseuds/wHyDoItRy
Summary: Atsumu Miya, death by suicide, December 25th 2020.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 71





	Atsumu I love you too

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a vent for me. I didn’t edit or reread it or anything, so I hope that it’s at least readable.

Dear anyone who sees this,  
I really don’t know how to start this, fuck I just want to go but I have to write something, a goodbye, before I finally leave. Please don’t cry, ok? Mom I know you’re seeing this right now, Samu I know you are too. I don’t know if dad would even care. But for now, please don’t worry. 

Firstly I just want to say some secrets before I end up dying that I never told you guys. First off, hi, I’m bisexual. A shocker, I know. I never got the chance to come out mostly because I was scared of what dad was going to say, but I might as well say it now. I also never believed in god. I probably wouldn’t go to heaven, anyway. 

You might be asking why I’m doing this, but there’s not a main reason. I just want to relieve the pain that I have in my life, I want to just disappear. I guess no one noticed that cause look where I am now, fucking dead. Oh well, there’s nothing you can do about it. Either send me to the mental hospital, therapy, or let me die. Dying seems like a better solution if you ask me. I do want to say that its not any of your guy’s faults, it really isnt. Do not blame yourselves because it isn’t worth it. It’s my own thoughts infesting my brain.

Hopefully at least some people remember me. Mom, can you make sure to keep Samu safe from any trouble? I know this sounds weird but I really don’t want him getting hurt just because I’m gone. I know it might feel weird without me there, less arguing, less bickering, trust me it will be better though. Less fighting and shit like that, besides no one wanted me there anyways.

To Kiyoomi, get someone better than I could ever be, ok? I hid my feelings towards you, and I understand if you’re hurt from seeing me disappear but trust me you’ll find someone better. Get a nice girlfriend, get a nice boyfriend and promise me this: have kids. That’s my one wish. I know you hate kids and babies but, it wil make me feel better, ok? I know you fell for me, and I’m sorry for it. I sometimes wish love wasn’t there, although I’d just keep coming back for you. I hope to see you in another life where we can be happy, where I can be happy. I love you so much but the problem is you were never fully there for me, I know you tried your best, and I know you knew I was sad, but it wasn’t enough. It’s a little harsh, and I’m sorry, but it’s the truth.

You deserve someone better anyway, don’t just be sulking, don’t shed a tear. I love you too much to see you cry.

Now that I said all of those things, I want to give my truthful opinions. I’ve had and struggled with mental health silently alone for years, without ever saying a peep. It has piled up way too much and I just hate that burden. I don’t really want to specify anything about why this happened, I don’t want anyone feeling bad, because this is my suicide, my death, why should you care about other people anyway?

I love everyone who supported me, I love my family even if they might not love me back. I want this weight off my shoulders already. 

Goodbye world, it was really nice being here, but it wasn’t enough. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

-Atsumu Miya

Sakusa held the note, covering his mouth as he looked up at the hanging body he called his boyfriend, was now lifeless. His skin felt cold, his tongue as dry as sandpaper. The winter breeze mixed with snow made him feel weaker, scrunching his eyebrows, tears slipping out of his dull pupils.

“A-Atsumu I love you too,”


End file.
